Written 3-19-2018 --

 Written  3-19-2018 --

Dementia.  Saying it out loud.  Writing it on pretty paper, typing it on a keyboard doesn’t make it any easier to deal with – my Mom has it. Her Mother, my Grandmother, showed signs of it before she passed away at 84. My Mom – turning 86 this year – is ‘neck-deep’ in the horrible disease.  I’ve known she had it for a couple of years – but convincing anyone in my family was another story.  Everyone just called it, ‘old age’.  She fell out of the bed, hit her head and it escalated everything.

My dad is still her caregiver – yet in a complete state of denial.  He’s of the philosophy if you don’t talk about it – don’t say it out loud it really isn’t so.

I always had compassion and sympathy for people that had parents with this disease – but until you walk the path, until your own loved one has this – you have no idea what it is like.

My Mom’s lifestyle has greatly shifted.   It’s at this point – and I’m 55 years old—that I had the revelation that it was my Mom that raised me.  Took me to dance classes, took care of me when I was sick.  Made sure I had everything I needed on top of her holding down a full time job.  My dad ‘brought home the bacon’. And sat in a lazy boy- and watched television.  It was my mom that cleaned the house, planned and prepared all meals, laundry, even planned what everyone wore.  Now that she is debilitated – you can’t even begin to imagine how things have dwindled.

I tried talking my father into getting help: Housekeeping help a couple of days a week, food service to come in with meals, or even a sitter to give him free time and my mother some company.   I was vetoed on all counts.  Labelled bossy and controlling after I tried to persuade an alliance with my brother, I threw in the towel and have had to sit back and let things play out.

I used to talk with my Mom daily, now I settle for once a week. I still write letters weekly, trying to put photos in each and write of what my daughter calls ‘anchors’ or memories that we shared to try and jar my mom into some facet of remembering who I am.

My Mom had always been so healthy – she still has her tonsils, for God’s sake.

The hard part is knowing it won’t get any better and there is nothing you can do and time only makes it worse.

Her physician stepped in and mandated home health and housekeeping come in and for that I’m truly thankful.  Mom is not happy about it.  Dad doesn’t talk about it.  But she’s barely  getting the care she needs.

I have a plane ticket to go home to see her in a couple of weeks… All I do is remember what it won’t be like when I get there.  I recite over and over again – ‘It’s not about you--- it’s not about you--- it’s not about you’…. But I’m going to see someone who doesn’t know me, and a father and brother who don’t want me there…. I kind of feel like it is all about me….

A Gaggle of Geese

You always have time to do the things you put first.  Well, in my life--it's not quilting. I work full time, have a home to take care of along with two high maintenance pups that think they are people.  While I would love a full-time laundry service, chef and maid service -- alas I am just blessed with - a home full of love from Don and the pups along with 3 shelves of quilt fabric.

I know quilting is a passion because even though I have days when I'm exhausted -- I still want to quilt.  So I plan for exhaustion-- because I know it's going to happen.

These cutout squares will turn into flying geese blocks.  I cut them out when I'm not tired and tuck them into a basket. Many nights if I just take twenty minutes to quilt, I count the day a win.

My mother worked outside of the home from the time I was 8 until she retired. I have all these great memories of us cooking together, sewing for me, ironing (lots of ironing), cleaning, sitting at my football games, dance lessons... but I never remember her ever doing anything simple for herself. Even in retirement, her life generally revolves around my dad and taking care of him.

I can't imagine a life without quilting.....

The Barn Quilt

I may not own the barn... but I have the dream and the quilt for it.  It's a North Star block. Don is going to frame it for me in gray weathered wood and I'll hang it in my house.  

I had wished for one for a while...and too cheap to buy one--- I made it myself. It is painted on plywood, 16 inches square.

It's Friday evening....heading toward a rainy weekend.  Permission to quilt.

Wild Goose Wednesday

In typical fashion--- I'm late to the party....  But I'm still playing.  My favorite quilt blocks are the North wind and just about any variation of a flying goose block.  Never fails-- it is what my eyes and my heart are drawn to.

I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone this year:  Harder patterns, new ways of quilting, new fabric choices.

Temecula Quilt Company is running Wild Goose Wednesday with ideas for inspiration of using the blocks.  One fat quarter of fabric and creme fabric from my stash created these:

Now-- you're seeing the different fabric choices.  These are 2.5 by 5.  I also tried a new way of making flying geese and I'm in love with it.  Technique here.

There's no waste. No wonky triangle corners and you get multiple blocks from one set.

Thunderstorms off an on all night.  My 80 pound Ripley was terrified.  I need to be drink lots of coffee this morning plus having it funneled through an IV as well.  Oh well-- We'll all sleep better tonight.

Bliss....

It's a Quilt.  Finally completed-- Binding and all. A Brenda Riddle pattern, Bliss,  it is called.  I completed the center in January and procrastinated about the border.  It was a new technique.  I studied the instructions for about a month. I finally got brave enough to tackle it.  I had purchased the gray fabric before I chose the pattern.  I was a little short, but it worked out that I had enough.

In a couple of weeks, I'll love it-- right now I'm just glad it is complete.  It seemed like I was road-blocked from completing it.  All I can think is-- never underestimate the value of keeping your machine oiled.  Makes a huge difference. 

I machine quilted it myself -- so it is just a small meander all over.

It will hang in my breakfast area opposite gray hickory floors and then probably rest on the back of my couch downstairs.

I pictured it in my head before I started and it turned out just that way.  

As you can tell, spring is finding it's way to the U.P.  Our winter was average. Kids only had one snow day all year.  It just seemed like winter wouldn't let go.  Still too early to plant flowers or a garden --- so I quilt as much as I can.

We're all getting older, but daily counting our blessings.  Off to work to pay for quilt fabric --

Have a great Tuesday.

The Magic of Christmas...Sorta

Lisa Bongean of Primitive Gatherings is holding a stitch Along for Christmas here.  Chelsey and I have decided to work on the blocks.  I want my quilt to be bigger so each block pattern I'm making two.  I have chosen black and white--at least for right now.  Not Christmas-y but I'll use it a lot more.
My first blocks:

I love seeing quilting from a new set of eyes--- Chelsey's.

'Mom, how big do I make the squares before I cut them?'  I hadn't studied the pattern, but Lisa';s instructions have always been really accurate.  I looked at the pattern-- '1-4 1/4" ,  To a seasoned quilter, I completely get it.  But I called and read it to her." one square four and one quarter inches... "Oh, that's what that means-- I had no idea."

It's fun sharing it with her.  I'd make a seam and send her a cell phone photo.  Technology is a wonderful thing.

Rainy Day ---

Never leave home without it..... a hand sewing project.

It's been raining off and on this afternoon.  I've been enjoying myself --- catching up with Carolyn and hand stitching on wool applique.

Hoping for and early season completion.

Falling Charms

The clock on summertime is ticking…. I was picking up in my sewing room when I came across 3 Blackbird Designs charm packs.  Beach House is the fabric line. Love then name, love the colors, the feel of the fabric--- love everything about it.  Being several years old – there’s no more fabric in the stores.  I added some stash fat quarters to go with it.

I’m not ready for Fall—wanting to hold onto Summer for as long as I can…. I voted for an easy to quilt piece.  Missouri Quilt Company had an online tutorial for a quilt called Falling Charms.  I thought it was perfect because I don’t want to cut up these charms --- I love every inch of fabric.

Whether it’s thrown over the hammock, hung on the rack in my breakfast area, or on a hanger next to an un-lit wood stove (hopefully we won’t be needing it too soon)….This quilt will cozy things up. 

I better get busy.

A quilt called Black Birds

DNA demanded it…. Chelsey’s started quilting. While I felt like she labelled me as the ‘dork’ of the family—Quilting has become the ultimate in cool.  It’s been a  great bonding moment for both of us.  I don’t know who loves it more--- her or me for  the fact that I get to share my ultimate passion with her. 

Every quilt I have ever given her has taken on new meaning as for as quilting styles, binding techniques, and lessons in piecing. She was given my old sewing machine when she moved out.  She’s dusted it off  and we’ve tackle that first ‘ broken needle’ together.  As I type this – I’m ordering a quarter inch quilting foot for that machine--- to give to her.

‘Mom, I never really knew how much time it took to make a quilt’. 

‘Mom, I got all my fabric from thrift shops --- and it’s still expensive…. I never knew’.

So many conversations that she’ll probably never know how much they mean to me. 

My family calls me ‘Aunt Bee’.  They’ll never call her that --- she wears the title ‘ Quilter’ with pride and dares anyone to judge or tease her.   Me--- I’ve never been that brave….

We were sharing pins on Pinterest -  (quilt pins)… 

I found a pin to share

A Quilt called Black Birdsby Sew Fresh Creations:

 I loved it.  I told Chelsey it reminded me of her--- it said, “ Stand out in a Crowd…. Dare to be different”

She said we had to make it.  I researched and found the pattern.  I sent it to her. She texted back-“ I don’t know Mom--- looks like a quilt for someone with more experience.  I don’t think I could do it—maybe in a couple of years—just not now.”

I hate being pressured – and I have learned this about myself—quilting is my hobby on my own terms. I hate ‘have to’s ‘ and I hate deadlines.  I told her no big deal  that I got it, “ But Mom, you go on and make it.,” she said.

I just know she can do it.  So last night after eight o’clock, I pulled out my scraps – she just needs a sample, plus I’ll decide how hard the pattern is.  So this is my canary (Because it is yellow)-

I wrote her a letter—because she lives 100 miles away—and sent it. I told her to use it as a sample, or maybe if she ever makes the quilt to possibly use it as a label for the back.

I have to make this quilt—because it reminds me of her…..

Billy's Shirts

The baby quilt was pieced and quilted and sent on his way.  Made entirely of a friend's son's shirts who was a volunteer fireman.  He was to be Uncle Billy to a new generation of Pestor babies.  Taken suddenly with congestive heart failure at 30 years old.  My friend brought me shirts and said, " just make something-- you choose." The fire trucks seemed appropriate, they were a $2.50 download from Etsy.  The other blocks were just pictures found on Pinterest.

I started the quilt on Mother's day, kind of 'teary' while cutting out each block.  I can't imagine what my friend must be going through losing a son.  I finished it on Father's Day.  They back was made from Navy and white gingham.

A good memory --- and I can definitely say a quilt brightened a very sad story.

The Yellow Quilt

83 hours later - It's finished.  Granted, the 83 hours was over a span of two years, but I'm still just as proud of it.

The quilt started off as an experiment to see exactly how long does it take to make a quilt. Quilting is a hobby for me.  I still man a 40 plus hour a week job, along with a great husband and a couple of high maintenance pups.  People always ask, " how long does it take?"  I never knew.  I spared them of the details of the difference between piecing , appliqueing, paper piecing, etc..  I did not discuss the merits of the machine working effortlessly versus those days when a stitch never seems to go one after the other.  But I kept count.

I had 58 hours, I believe going into the applique portion, 3 hours in the binding. So between appliqueing and machine quilting there was 22 hours.

I made several baby quilts, a couple of pieces for my mom, a set of curtains, and remodeled a kitchen somewhere in the middle of all this. I hate UFOs.  I feel defeated and honestly-- wasteful.  I saw the pin of the quilt on Pinterest and loved the quilt all over again.  I thought how pretty the  black centers would blend with my dark kitchen counter tops now.

And I went back to work on the quilt.

I cut the borders out first-- to insure I had yardage without piecing them. What borders?  Guess what happened -- in all the 'minute counting' and rush to complete to move on to the next project-- I forgot about the borders.  I simply appliqued and stretched it on the quilting frame and again plowed into machine quilting.  It wasn't until I looked at the pattern still laying on the coffee table that I realized the error.

I was incredibly disappointed.  I looked at how I could add them, should I try removing the quilting I had already begun.  I talked with my mom.  She said the quilt is twin size without the borders and would still do a 'fine' job of keeping someone warm...The borders weren't meant to be,

I let go of the disappointment and love the quilt just as much.

Lessons learned.  I'm not plowing into anymore projects.  It's my hobby for the shear enjoyment.  No more.  No less.

Have you ever had a quilted piece that you look at and it reminds you of something.  That's what this piece will  do.

Memorial Day -- finishing off a 3-day weekend. Today has been sunny and 82 degrees. Beautiful.  The other two days have been cloudy intermittent showers --- permission to quilt.

I have always followed Bonnie Hunter.  I admired her 'made from shirttails' quilt designs.  I loved how she thrift shopped for men's shirts for quilt fabric.  Kinda shot that " I can't afford to quilt " analogy to hell.  I have never cut up shirts for quilts -- except the t-shirt quilt I made Eric...

I never have -- until now.   A friend I work with lost her 30-year old son to congestive heart failure.  He just didn't wake up one morning.  A volunteer fireman --- looking back, friends and family could all pick up the signs, but being too close to Billy --- they just didn't pick up on it.

Kay brought me a tote bin full of his clothes and asked me to make a quilt from them. Yikes -- all I thought was that I don't quilt well enough to do something like this.  'No seriously,  My other son just announced they are having a Baby -- I'd like a quilt for that baby from Billy's clothes.."

I put the tote bin in the dining room corner and left it there for 3 weeks.  I couldn't even open it.  I finally opened to bin and saw the different pieces she sent. I combed  through books, Pinterest-- anything I could find to get an idea of what to make.

I picked out a nine patch variation.  I also found a fire truck applique.  So for $2.50 I downloaded it.  I probably could have drawn it out, but felt like accuracy was important.

This is the bottom three rows.  It's made up of a baby blue oxford and three different plaids.  It was amazing how for the shirt fabric went. Bonnie had a tutorial on how to dismantle the shirt to make the most of it. I incorporated a solid white background.  I bought navy and white gingham for the back and binding.

There will be a row of 3 firetrucks.   The firetrucks are burgundy, from one of Billy's shirts.  It fit the theme.  There will be a single plaid row on the top.

I started cutting on Mother's day.  It was tough. Really tough. Lots of tears, tons of prayers for that family, for that Mother as the scissors cut out individual blocks. I can't even imagine her heart ache.

This is go to be a great quilt.



P.S.  I'm back -- 4 quilts left the house without even a photo.  Everyone goes through different seasons in there lives... I think I'm about to embark on a great one.

Borders

I was ready to move onto the borders for Sunflower Gatherings.  I hadn't read ahead much.  Figured on cutting four lengths and beginning the last of the wool applique. I opened up the last package.

I purchased my kit directly from Primitive gatherings.  They are always good at giving generous portions as well as cutting tips when pattern pieces are tight.

I looked inside.  It's a pieced border. several  pieces to be sewn together.  It's really going to add to the quilt.  I guess I better get that sewing machine threaded, right?

Glue Sticks-- I baste my wool applique using Elmer's glue sticks.  I struggle with the steam -a-seam.  I've even taken a class directly from Lisa Bongean and I still struggle at making the pieces stick.  I end up losing pieces or the minute I start stitching that peel up.  The glue stick mounts the pieces well and has no impact on hand applique or machine quilting later.

Bottom Rows....

I loved Sunflower Gatherings from the minute I first saw it.  A 2014 Summer Block of the Week program, I had to have been one of the first ten people to sign up.  I was enchanted with the dragonfly. The bright colors totally went with my home.  There's nothing like getting quilt stuff in the mail. It was like Christmas once a week-- every week during the Summer.

But my son got married, My job took some twists and turns. A season changed. Christmas projects came to the front of the line.  Who wants to work on Sunflowers with 3 feet of snow on the ground?

But alas, the snow does melt. Porch sitting returns and I was ready for handwork again. I didn't want to fund a new project.  My kitchen got the extra funding this Summer.

 I want to believe that I don't quit.  It's important to me.  So I pulled out the blocks. I realized I had more not finished than I had even sewn last year.  So I got busy.

The photo is a pictures of the final rows.  I'm going to sew them together --- Now On to the the Borders....

I hear rumors...Christmas Gatherings is coming out soon.

On the Eighth Day....

God Created Pumpkins....

I've never seen an ugly one....

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.....

The seasons are changing fast.... Autumn is in full swing.

I run my two pups daily and seldom do I come home without a leaf, an acorn, a dried branch of something.

A perfect time for quilts.  Quilts on my table, that ladder back of a chair, the foot of a bed -- Fall and quilts just go together.

Wool Applique

Hand work is my permission slip to sit still on the couch and listen to television at night.  Don doesn't get how I can be into a tv show without actually seeing it.  I don't know.  It just works for me.  I can't tell you things that happen if they weren't spoke, but I completely enjoy sitting close to Don while I do it.

I am a planner.  Holiday details, Work details, appointments -- I'm on top of it.  But when it comes to quilting I fall short.  Yesterday the strawberry quilt was proof.  A girlfriend wrote me and said I wasn't behind, I was ahead for next year.

I don't feel the Christmas thing  in June and it's hard to work on a pumpkin quilt at Easter Spring time.  But there's nothing more "Holiday" spirited that to look in the living room and see that wicker basket filled with the makings of a pumpkin quilt -- right now, in the season that it belongs.

This is a Heart to Hands Block of the Month quilt.  I just bought the patterns and I'm using wool I have on hand. The backgrounds I purchased quilt shopping with Carolyn my daughter-in-law, so I keep her in the loop on my progress. She doesn't quilt, but is the first to grab the car keys and take me shopping when I visit.

Every house should have pumpkins this time of year.

And then there were Strawberries....

While it may not be strawberry season-- it is definitely a strawberry quilt cover-up season.  I started this piece in January with a couple of quilting friends. I believe one used thirties prints and one used Daysail fabric. Me, I chose 3 Sisters fat quarters. There may be some Fig Tree Quilts pieces as well.

Not my kind of quilt-- Not my colors.  I just wanted to make it with friends.  It started from a pin in Pinterest.  Every time I looked at the quilt all I could think of was the grandbabies I'd have one day and how I would bribe teary-eyed kids fighting taking  naps with dreams of Strawberry ice cream, strawberry milkshakes and strawberry milk and promises of each if they would just rest a few minutes under that quilt.

I really got to get me some of those grandkids.......

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Lessons Learned...My New Kitchen

I thought it was going to be a four week project....It wasn't.  Try six months.   But it was so worth it.

Introducing -- My new kitchen....

The photos were taken from my cell phone.  My camera battery needs charging.

If you are like everyone else your thought is-- nice kitchen, but it doesn't look anything like Melanie.

Even I always pictured myself with this farmhouse white kitchen with neutral counter tops.  Don wanted a classic.  He said we were getting older and the upkeep on a white painted kitchen would be more than I bargained for.  This was his vision.  He lets me hang quilts -- literally all over the house, Window panes, cross-stitch pillows, and wooden signs have tucked in spots everywhere.  I decided I could charm any kitchen into something of my own.

They are Kraftmaid cabinets but my husband installed each and everyone of them.  He took each one off the truck and hung each on the wall.  He had never done it before, but learned things from dismantling the other cabinets and the internet --- he soon became a professional ...again working on this after putting in his 45 hours at the grown up job.

Things we learned along the way -- A Fifteen inch  plate rack is for plates smaller than 15 inches.  He modified the rack with carved scallops in the edges to make my plates fit.  

We started with a map of our old kitchen and discussed what we wanted to change --- what we didn't like about the old kitchen.  The floors of gray hickory, for a barn wood feel.

I have this paranoia about microwaves frying my brain when the microwave was above my stove -- so I moved it.  Don thinks it's too low now....me-- the jury is still out on this.

The company wanted a fortune for a plywood backing on the snack bar.  Don bought cherry boards and built his own bead board wains-coating  for half the price plus it looks stunning.

Our house is a the definition of 'OAK-R-US', so it was scary choosing cherry wood, but we changed the door trim and baseboards in that room and it all blends just fine.

Spacers are important.  The Kitchen lady insisted we buy them and we could return what we didn't need.  She was right.

Crocks, quilts, cloth napkins,  wooden spoons, and a wicker basket or two cozy it up just right.

There hasn't been a lot of quilting.  I'm not much of a carpenter, but I was his sidekick for clean-up duty and a sounding board when he needed it.

He has No Idea.....

Truthfully, he has no idea just how talented he is... We finished remodeling the kitchen. (Details-- next post).  With the additions and subtractions, we realized my buffet and dish shelf no longer fit. Trying to be grateful and not complain, I kept saying-- no big deal-- but in my heart I was dying.  I changed my dishes with the seasons and yes-- it's probably a sin of some sort, but I truly appreciate dinnerware of every kind. He promised me we would replace the furniture one day -- not to fret. All I kept thinking was-- maybe it was a sign that I was obnoxious about the plates and cups.

A Saturday a few weeks ago we headed to Green Bay -- the objective -- A china hutch.
Folks, there were none to be found.  There may have been a couple, but none would fit  the spot or match the kitchen.  I saw a Yankee Candle display--" Don, this is it. Just like this, but half the size and not red... I'll paint it another color.  His response, "Easy enough-- I'll build it for you".

This guy has already remodeled a kitchen this summer and has that grown-up job that finances our life.  He even wanted the drawers to have " Dove-tail joints-- so he bought a gadget and made them:

So between helping a friend remodeled their basement he worked on my project... He goes to work at 6:30 every day-- He even got up 2 hours early one morning to work on it.

The end result---- My Hutch.... The floors are gray hickory, so the hutch has a cherry top to match the kitchen cabinets and painted gray sides.

I'm completely bragging. Guilty as charged.  But when you talk to him about it, he only talks about ways he could make it better next time. These days I don't complain when he helps out friends-- as I did when I was younger--- because he truly has talent, a gift that should never be kept to himself.